Tips for Enhanced BeamO Satisfaction

I have the hand-eye coordination of a rock. Can I master the BeamO without suffering the humiliation of peers?

Not to worry.
Anyone can achieve BeamO-bility. And unlike perilous picnic games such as lawn darts or tossed eggs, a misguided BeamO will not cause permanent damage to the vulnerable heads of competitors or onlookers. In fact, proficiency is so easy to attain, within 15 minutes there’s a remote possibility you’ll be representing the U.S. as part of the BeamOlympics.

Is BeamO’s spandex the same modern swimsuit fabric worn by international beauty pageant contestants?

You bet.
That’s what makes BeamO not only durable, but beguiling. It holds up to tough competition, yet still retains its poise with an effortless clean-up. Due to its spandex design, many find BeamOs to be among the most congenial toys they’ve ever encountered.

I often hang out with slacker deadbeats.
Will they be engaged by BeamO?

Fer sure, totally.
But don’t take our word for it. Try this BeamO experiment. Take several dullard friends to a barbecue. Engage in a game of BeamO as they scoff at you while listlessly sprawled on a blanket. Within minutes, they will become surprisingly alert and interactive. After an invigorating game of BeamO, they may even seek employment. Though probably part-time.

Any unusual suggestions to heighten
the BeamO playing experience?

We’ve got a million of ‘em.
Some BeamO enthusiasts enjoy positioning their heads in the center hole for a complete body catch. Jock-like people in search of enhanced thrills have been known to toss a football or wiffle ball through the hoop while in flight. We also enjoy watching inventive tykes roll BeamOs like a fleet of spare tires. Because we don’t think housepets should be excluded from family fun, we’ve entertained the idea of training Fido to leap through a BeamO. While earthbound of course.

Can BeamO be used as a bonding experience
for emotionally isolated family members?

Even more effectively than tapioca pudding!
Since the invention of computer games, we know of one child who was so confused by the concept of fresh air that in order to leave the house he would point and click. That’s why we’re so enthralled with the concept behind the BeamO. After years of high-tech isolation, parents are being reintroduced to their virtual kids. There’s nothing like oxygen and tossing around a flying hoop to breathe offline life into family unity.

Is it improper to wear a BeamO in public?

Not in the least.
Although invented for use as a flying toy, we’ve been advised it offers surprisingly versatile applications as a costume party accessory. Several BeamO wearers have gained recognition within social circles by ingeniously dressing as a donut, Indy 500 track, satellite dish and Cher. With correct head placement, it’s possible to astronomically delight partygoers by attending your next event as the planet Saturn.

© 2008 Stuff Design, Inc. BeamO and BeamO2 are trademarks of Stuff Design, Inc.